The Man Keeping Her Down
There seems to be a workers revolution going on in our household. The leetle ones want to do chores around the house and earn a little cash money. We used to give them chores and allowances, but we seem to have strayed.
So Soraya developed a new chore list...hmm...that's not what I see as chores, but let us review each chore one by one. There is only six, so it should not take long...
- Make bed - Hey not too bad. I think that is a good expectation for kids!
- Change Coconut's house at night (Brandon in the Morning) - Well, okay, changing the guinea pig's house each day requires opening the cage and either removing or placing a simple plastic little box for her to sleep in. And does her brother know she is assigning him this duty?
- Go outside - What?!!! Pay the kids to go outside and play?!!!
- Read for 20 minutes - Hello?!!! That's called homework! Geez...I'm simple, but not that simple.
- Extra stuff - What, like changing the oil in my car?
- Take Coconut out every other day - I'm supposed to pay them to take care of their pet? I never endorsed a pet rodent...
I would say this list is worth 1.5 chores and what?...75 cents? Poor Soraya, she has entered the rough and tumble world of labor negotiations.
My iPod DNA Sample
If you look on my profile, you will notice that my favorite music states, "A sign of aging is when one's car radio is tuned to A.M. radio." Sadly, I find as I drive to work and around town, I am listening to more Sport Talk and News radio.
However, if one is looking for another clue to someone's age, take a look at what is on his or her iPod. As I listen to KNBR during my commute, the radio host will on occasion ask a guest what is on the guest's iPod. This has become a cultural phenomena, what is on your iPod is a fingerprint about you. (Okay...before anyone has a hissy-fit because I am only referring to iPods, let's face it, iPods are becoming like Kleenex's. It is actually a facial tissue, but we all call it a Kleenex!) No two iPods musical libraries are alike (actually that is because the software will not allow much sharing...)
When I look into Andrea's iPod, she has all the cool and latest artists. Generally, she is what is keeping me barely in the 21st century music-wise. Andrea rolls her eyes and scrunches her nose in disdain when she looks through my iPod's musical offerings. Even Soraya and Brandon try not to listen when I play my iPod through my car's stereo.
I thought I was cool when I admitted to really liking
Coldplay. Hey, I have both their cd's on my iPod! I'm relevent! I'm hip! I'm cool! I'm listening to a girl's band?!!! What the?!!! Andrea didn't tell me that when I was professing my love for Mr. Gwyneth Paltrow! (Why does a
Joe Dirt reference seem so appropriate right about now? "I'm a rocker through and through. Here's a list of my favorite bands:
AC/DC, Van Halen not Van
Hagar,
Skynyrd, Def Leppard...")
Sadly, when one looks through my iPod's library, it does harken back to the days when mullets ruled the Earth. When a guy could wear spandex pants and be tough.
STOP!!! Stop taking that moment to ponder what I looked like wearing those pants and having that do! Although I did have the cool double earring on the left earlobe thing going on, and my hair tended to be long, I never sported a mullet, nor did spandex ever touch my loins...I waited for cycling to don the spandex...
So...let's take a look at some of the "artists" on my iPod...
- Coldplay - Damn...I thought I was cool...
- Van Halen/Hagar - I knew I was old when I heard VH playing in a doctor's office...
- Queen - Could you really be tough listening to these guys? But Freddy could wear that ballet unitard with the best of them!
- The Boomtown Rats - Hey...I can be proud of these guys!!! No mullets and deep into the skinny-tie movement.
- Jefferson Starship - This is sort of one of those Van Halen not Hagar moments...not the "Starship" songs, more the early 80's version.
- Poison - Ahhh yes...mullets do rule!!!
- Rush - For all the guys not cool enough to rock to Metallica, but thought they were above "average" mullet rock...
- Styx, Journey, REO Speedwagon - Okay...these bands were definitely NOT tough or cool...but we would always argue, "But they are really good musicians!!!"
- Eagles - The educated, less moonshine, version of Lynyrd Skynrd...
- Def Leppard - I have them on my iPod, but for some reason I always skip them when they appear on my shuffle song mode.
- Metallica - I feel my testosterone levels rising...
Well, there you have it. They say the first step to curing a problem is admitting you have the problem. My name is Neil and I like mullet rock...
Sumos And Cycling
Well...I have been on vacation and lately I feel sort of like the picture below. I feel the deeper I get in my years, the more I desire to go shirtless and wear man diapers...
No, actually...lately I am understanding the battle of the bulge all too well. My physical therapist/personal trainer friend, Heidi, says I just need to find time to get my butt out there and on the bike. She knows I am no longer a runner as the bones just can't take the jarring. So it's cycling for me. And the real truth is when I am doing my first love, mountain biking, I love the feeling of being out there by myself...
However, I always argue it
is about the general lack of time. Going back to that Kaczynski thing, I thought all these modern marvels should help me out!
But I really do need to get back on the bike more often. This way I can look like these guys:
Okay, actually, I don't want to look like these two, especially the one on the right. They are Christian Vandevelde and Michael Barry, two professional bike racers. See?!...maybe too much cycling is a bad thing! Now back to the real world...I am not that disciplined. These two guys together probably weigh as much as me!...and don't get me depressed about body fat percentage.
Wait a second...you know what? It's not just the time, it's the preparation. I went mountain biking today and I always dread the prep beforehand. Filling my Camelback, packing a jersey, checking my bike, taking off the front tire of my bike and then loading it on top of my Xterra...then I drive to the trailhead and unload my bike, put on the front wheel, change into my jersey, take off my shorts (my bike shorts are underneath, although Joe always said that was the moment of truth...) put on my shoes. Geez! That's a chore!
Once I get out there, it's usually heaven for me. You know the saying about the worst day fishing? The same goes for mountain biking. Okay, let's face it, I just need to stop with the excuses and get out there...
Cars With Saws And Nose Hairs
So when I was young, I was glued to the television watching a Japanese cartoon I'm sure you all know,
Speed Racer. Every afternoon I would rush home after school in anticipation of Speed's daring do's (a little clarification here...this would be early in elementary!) I dreamed of driving the amazing Mach Five at speeds that would make my mom nervous and the neighborhood kids envious.
Now looking back on it...hmmm...those races seem kind of wacky. For example:
- Episode 7 and 8, The Race Against The Mammoth Car - A huge truck is allowed to enter a race next to all these puny little cars. This truck looks like a BART train on steroids. And at the end...it was made of gold!!! Who knew?!
- Episodes 9-11, The Most Dangerous Race - It is a really smart thing to have a race where the contestants must jump their cars over ravines, over and over and over. Lose your eyesight? Hey no problem...someone will jump in your car and tell you when to turn!
- Episode 12 and 13, Race For Revenge - Hey...build a remote control car...enter it into a race to exact revenge against those who betrayed one's father. Kill a few racers?...nah no one will notice...
- Episode 24 and 25, The Royal Racer - Cool! Even eight-year-olds get to drive cool race cars at blistering speeds! Crash and die?...hey no one said this was for seven-year-olds!
I remember one episode where the evil guy dupes a genious and his daughter. When the daughter figures it out she grabs a gun and threatens to shoot mr. evil. Little to her knowledge he has guns built into his disguise and he shoots her...she dies...Speed, you just weren't quick enough!
I guess I'm just glad that this stuff didn't warp me too much...I could have ended up like this guy!
So all this discussion brings me to what I really wanted to talk about. A cartoon my kids are mesmerized by...
Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo...
I don't get it. This is truly a demented cartoon from the land of the rising sun. A hero with a blonde natural, whose main "super power" is his amazing nose hairs. NOSE HAIRS?!!! Who comes up with this stuff?!!!
As Bo-bobo battles evil-doers he is helped by his pals. One guy is made out of jelly, another is a miniature sun. There is another sidekick who looks like a tiny version of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters. Oh look there's a guy with an enormously elongated Elvis hair-do!
What the Hell were the animators in Japan thinking when they created this mess? Or more importantly how many bottles of sake or Asahi were being consumed during the brainstorming of this cartoon opus?
I now don't feel so silly worshipping Speed Racer in my youth...
To The Ends Of The Earth...
The kid's asked me to go ice skating and Andrea weaseled out of going. So off to the local rink we went. The three of us. I dreaded going. I knew that Soraya could barely skate and Brandon? It was going to be a long night.
We rented our skates that I'm sure were filled with funk from a thousand plague infested pairs of feet. I strapped them to the kids' feet (and mine) and bravely we headed to the slick ice.
Soraya quickly scooted into the rink and shuffled her way around the ice. Brandon immediately grabbed the railing on the sides and clung on for dear life. He and I slowly made our way around the rink.
The first time around the ice took Brandon and me 30 minutes...yes, one half an hour. But he mustered up the courage and continued to muddle along the boards. I looked up and saw Soraya scuttling stiffly, yet quickly, with the circling herd of ice skaters. My little girl becoming more independent. I smiled...
About the third time around...yes, much later...Brandon looked up to me and stated, "I wish you were my real father..." What does one do with that?! Yes, I was extremely proud that my boy would say that. However, I have never been one to try to come between the kids and their father. What do
I do with that?...
Some wonder why
Finding Nemo is one of my favorite films. It's a children's film?! Why would a so-called grown man, list a film about cartoon fish as one of his all-time faves?
The main reason it reminds me what I would do if one of the kids were taken from us. I would go to the ends of the Earth to find them. I would do anything. I would go anywhere. It is about a child growing up and a father not wanting to let go. It is about wanting to protect one's kid, but realizing he (or she) needs to eventually find their own way.
Which brings us back to Brandon's wish...
...what do I do with Brandon's wish?...
I smiled and said, "I'm always here for you Brandon, that's all that matters..."
The night ended and I was glad I went skating with Soraya and Brandon. Like every night, I whispered into the kids' ears as they were falling asleep, "I love you and always will..."
Heaven And Hell
I love this photo for so many reasons...
Firstly, it is from one of the three Grand Tours around Europe. That would be one of the three largest bicycle stage races, the Giro d'Italia. That would be the Tour of Italy...
This stage race began in 1909. It was sponsored by the Italian newspaper, La Gazzetta dello Sport, as a way to increase the circulation (Le Tour de France was started for the same reason.) It takes place during the month of May and snakes its way throughout Italy...duh!!!
Secondly, this photo features, sort of, The Devil. This gentleman can be seen haunting the sides of the roads at every major bicycle race in Europe. Giro?...*poof!*...there's The Devil...Le Tour?!...*poof!*...there he is running along side Paulo...Vuelta?...*poof*...there he is jumping up and down...
The Devil's alter ego is Didi Senft of Storkow, Germany. That is a town near Berlin. He has been chasing cyclists for well over a decade...and to top it all off, The Devil is sponsored by a German auto parts company, Luk.
Thirdly the image captures the general, er, side show that shows up at European bicycle races. While bike races in the United States tend to be festivals for health and families, in Europe, the races are definitely male dominated. Next time you watch le Tour, check out the crazed fans on the side. See many of the delicate gender?...yep...the Angel is there for the guys...
The last part that I love about this pic, well, actually are two things...
The Leer - Check out the leer from The Devil!...What the?!!! Does Mrs. Devil know what you are really doing at the races?!!!
The Hand - What is with that hand fondling the Angel's hair?! And her expression is one of, "Hey!...back off buddy...I have mace hidden, er, dang...not too many places to hide that stuff with this get up..."
September 11 Addendum
I forgot to add one amazing documentary regarding the events of September 11, 2001. The documentary is simply titled
9/11.
Two French brothers, Jules and Gedeon Naudet, wanted to do a documentary on a rookie firefighter, called a "probie", going from a total newbie to a veteran. What they didn't realize that their documentary would turn into a filming of history.
This documentary has the only known video of the first plane hitting the World Trade Center. It also has the only actual footage in the WTC lobby.
This film does not dwell on the evils of terrorism, rather it is about the human drama of the heroes at Ground Zero. We get to see a rookie forced to be a "man" way before he should need to...yet he rises to the occasion.
Although there is much sadness, this film
is inspirational. The New York firefighters were amazing in their dedication to saving as many lives as possible on 9/11...
Ghost In The Machine
So this morning I got to work at my usual time. I proceeded to punch in my code so I could enter. It was before we were open, so we needed to keep the building secure...
...after flipping on the lights to my office, I sat down to my desk and turned on my computer. Entering my code to allow me access to my computer, I sipped on my steaming cup of Starbucks' finest while it buzzed and whirred while loading.
Finally the electric box on my desk was ready. I typed in my code to unlock the numbers from the day prior. Hey!...another good day...great! Quickly I entered my passcode so I could read my email messages from my corporate partners. Arggghhh...30 new email messages since leaving last night?!
I was oblivious to the red blinking light on my phone. I sipped my java and noticed the pulsing message notification. One more gulp and I pressed my secret combination to unlock my voicemail. Ahhh...it was my boss congratulating me on the great business...
I paused...
In the span of 30 minutes I had entered five different passcodes. That is not to mention the passcode to look at our service scores, my passcode to our corporate personnel website, the code to the office door (which is different from the code to get in the building), and the pin number to access the register. Add on to those my pin number for my ATM card, my passcode to my cell phone voicemail, my password for my email account...lordy...I have a password even for this lame blog!!!
Maybe Ted Kaczynski was right?!!!...okay, not the bombing part...but the too much technology part...geez, I'm crazy, but not
Kazynski crazy!
All this information was supposed to make my life easier! Okay, there are many pluses...like I get to corrupt the fine people wasting their time reading this diatribe...or that ESPN now has 2o million channels and that I can watch people playing poker nonstop...or that with Google Earth I have one more thing to obsess over...satellite stalking!!!
However...
My brain at times feels like it's reached its memory capacity. I need to purge old files to fit in the endless streams of data flying at me from every corner of my existence.
FYI...BTW...ASAP...OMG...LOL...
English people, English!!! Well that is if you are trying to communicate with me. I watch my kids playing on the computer or video games and I need to force them to go outside and play.
FORCE THEM?!!! I don't want to sound like that guy who used to walk 10 miles to school in the snow with no shoes, but...
Hmmm...maybe that crazy guy from Lincoln, Montana was on to something...
Happy Birthday Dad!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!
My dad would be the one on the right. Uh...yes that would be my mom on the left.
I probably have not said this enough, but I do have the coolest, bestest parents in all the land. I could not ask for better parents...okay I do wish my Christmas gifts would have included Rock'em Sock'em Robots and a Big Wheel...but all is forgiven!
I have discovered that not only have I become closer to my parents as I advance in age, I see the wisdom that they have tried to give me from an early start. My dad's one mission in life is the happiness of his wife and children.
A little story...
A few years ago, I had questioned whether my parents truly still loved each other, or were they together because they knew nothing else. Every night my dad would sit on the easy chair watching television while my mom sat on the couch reading...every night...
I came home one night and to my shock there was my dad...next to my mom...on the couch...arm around her watching television with her! Cool!!! They still loved each other...I could tell...
So on that note...
Happy Birthday Dad!
Love,
Neil
Awesome!...Totally Awesome!!!
It's funny how things seem to naturally collide in life. Take for example my friend Brian who just attended our shared '80-'81 reunion. I myself have skillfully been able to avoid every single one of my highschool reunions. However a week later he updated me on anyone I might have known.
Tom K. is now married and has a "shared" last name with his wife...that's very Berkeley...and from what I understand so is Tom...
Eddie M. is now a very busy sound engineer...he was one of the four guys that played in a band around town...sadly the other three are doing gigs in dingy taverns locally...
These guys are all dead...those guys likewise...well that's a reunion killer...no pun intended...yep, I'm glad that I decided to keep my string of no attendances alive!
And just recently I viewed
Fast Times At Ridgemont High again. Okay, definitely not high art. But, if one graduated from highschool in the early 80's, this film was definitely a fairly accurate portrayal of highschool, unfortunately...
Although some have told me I was somewhat popular back then, I think I fell in the Mark Ratner category. You know, the guy who bought $40 worth of film from the girl at the Fotomat and didn't even speak to her. Yeah, that would be Neil in highschool...
Now before you click to another website as this is totally killing grey matter, consider who appeared in this celluloid classic:
- Sean Penn - Jeff Spicoli
- Jennifer Jason Leigh - Stacy Hamilton
- Judge Reinhold - Brad Hamilton
- Ray Walston - Mr. Hand
- Phoebe Cates - Linda Barrett
- Forest Whitaker - Charles Jefferson
- Eric Stolz - Stoner Bud (that's the credit on IMDB)
- Nicolas Cage (Coppola) - Stoner Bud
- Anthony Edwards - Stoner Bud
Hey!...not bad! There's some respectable names in there! Now I don't feel so ridiculous owning this one in my DVD collection. Hey...is Andrea rolling her eyes?!!!
So for a little stroll down memory lane, head to Blockbuster, or order Fast Times on Netflix. But be forewarned...check who is in the room watching the film when you hear Jackson Browne singing
Somebody's Baby.
Ignore The Man Behind The Curtain
A joke that was sent to me, that tickled my funny bone!...
Four U.S. presidents are caught in a tornado and they are whirled off to the city of Oz...
They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the great wizard...
The wizard asks, "What brings you to the great wizard of Oz?"
Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly and whispers, "I've come for some courage..."
"No problem!..." bellows the wizard..., "who is next?!"
Ronald Reagan inches forward, "Well...I...I think I need a heart..."
"Done!...who comes next before the great and powerful wizard of Oz?"
Up stepped George W. Bush sadly, "I'm told by the American people I need a brain..."
"No problem!...consider it done!" replies the wizard.
There is silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is standing there quietly, just looking around...not saying a word. Irritated, the wizard finally demands,"What do you want?!"
"Where's Dorothy?..."
Thank you Jacque for the frequent yucks...
Peace
Okay...it's 9:40 p.m. on September 11, 2006. The anniversary has come and gone for all intents and purposes. I watched
Nine Innings From Ground Zero again. I watched a two hour documentary on CBS. I recorded another documentary on HBO and another on MSNBC. I totally get absorbed by what happened that horrible day. I relive it with much sadness and wonder...how can one human being, or in this case many, hate a government that much that one would kill over 3,000 people?
I stated in an earlier post that I was relieved that I was not needed to fly today. Although maybe paranoid, this is what 9/11 has done to me. It is probably what it has done to many in the entire world. It has made us a little more cynical, paranoid and distrustful...
We learned sad lessons of the world we now live in. We are all a little less innocent...give someone you love a hug and a kiss...
Here's to peace and healing...
Sausages And Waffles
Wow...the Crocodile Hunter was killed by the barb of a ray...and while I never met Steve Irwin, I must admit I am a bit saddened by this event. He actually seemed like a pretty nice, although hyperactive, guy. There are those who question whether his antics were one of a conservationist or that of a testosteroned fueled adventure seeker. I tend to agree with the former rather than the latter.
My kids, Soraya and Brandon, both enjoyed watching the Crocodile Hunter when they were younger. I firmly believe that Irwin had a part in growing their interest in nature and science. That is something that is probably not that unusual. Terry Irwin, his wife, can be proud of what her husband accomplished.
Now this brings us to George Johnson...Mr. "I can eat waffles and sausages my entire life and live to 112"!
112?!!! Sausages and Waffles?!!!What the Hell was I thinking by trying to watch what I eat and try to get excercise? Hey, my hat's off to George (a Bay Area guy!!! Yay!!!) He lived by himself until the ripe old age of 110! Only the last two years did he need a caretaker. Geez...I hope I'm not peeing on myself by the time I'm 60! If it weren't for the fatal bout of pneumonia, I'm sure George would be chowing down on some greasy links right now...
A ray's barb...pneumonia...waffles and sausages...
Here's to Steve Irwin and George Johnson
The Fifth Anniversary
Okay...I admit, I was nervous. I was to fly this coming September 11th to Cincinnati for a store manager training. For those of you who have lost track, or have tried to forget, this will be the fifth annivesary of the terror attack on New York and the Pentagon. I was scheduled to be at about 30,000 feet in a metal tube.
*WHEW!!!*
At the last moment, someone in training had emailed me stating that because I was a store manager in 2001...yep five years ago...I did not need to attend the training in Ohio. Although I tried to be nonchalant about the whole flying on 9/11 thing, I admit now that I was nervous.
So, the fifth anniversary of September 11th approaches...
The September 11th...I wonder how we, as a nation, will recognize the date. 8:46 a.m., Eastern Time, September 11, 2001, American Airlines flight 11 impacts the North Tower of the World Trade Center in New York. How will we remember?
I make this entry into my blog on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend. The Nation honors the worker. Yet, I look towards a day just over a week from this Saturday. Many take time to enjoy the dying days of summer, yes I was one of those, but do we realize that this historic date approaches?
Two films have recently been at your local metroplexes that have garnered much press as they are portrayals of the events of September 11,
United 93 and
World Trade Center. Those along with Michael Moore's
Fahrenheit 9/11 drew volumes of press. However, one documentary about the events that day deserves great praise. I fully recommend
Nine Innings From Ground Zero. It is a HBO documentary about the days following the attack and how baseball helped heal a bit of New York.
Although a bit heavy handed at times and as an Oakland Athletics fan I get to relive Jeremy Giambi's inability to slide over and over again, I really thought this was a wonderful film. It was not about vengeance, nor did it even acknowledge the evil that did these horrible things.
Nine Innings was about resolve, about moving on. Do not think that this is about baseball alone, because it is not. The moving recollections are woven into the late days of the Yankees' run to the World Series. It does make me smile each time I watch it...
The fifth anniversary approaches...the world has changed dramatically since that day.
Nine Innings From Ground Zero...maybe it does not get the recognition, but take a moment to watch this and enjoy...
There seems to be a workers revolution going on in our household. The leetle ones want to do chores around the house and earn a little cash money. We used to give them chores and allowances, but we seem to have strayed.
