The Worst Days
I have known Brandon for virtually all of his life. I was introduced to his sister, Soraya and him when they were very young, about three and one and a half years respectively. They did not trust me for the first ten minutes, from that time on, the three of us have been best buds.
Unfortunately, it seems that I have been present for Brandon's two worst times in his eight-year life. The first was when he was only about two-years-old. He had a nasty cold and the doctor wanted to run blood tests to ensure that it was nothing more. As I placed my forearm across his chest to hold him down, Brandon looked into my eyes pleading why was I allowing this? I needed to stay strong, but as he wailed in terror, our eyes continued to meet. His filled with fright, mine with sadness. There was nothing I could do, other than try to let him know it would be all right.
The second time happened yesterday. Surgery, albeit it was only oral surgery, is scary. And although it was an outpatient procedure, there were the people in masks, the I.V., the cold, sterile environment, yep, it was the real thing. Now imagine you are only eight-years-old, with the knowledge of an eight-year-old. Terrifying.
Brandon was trying so hard to be brave. As he sat back on the dental chair, the laughing gas mask upon his nose, they began to place the monitors on various parts of his body. As his voice quivered, he asked me, "Will I remember you when I wake up?" Wow, that's deep. I understood if he was concerned if the procedure would hurt, but to worry that Brandon would not be able to remember me when he awoke?...wow...deep...
Finally Brandon fell asleep. I waited outside the office the minutes slowly creeping by. I noticed a sign upon the office window; one that warned that on occasion there were surgical emergencies that would delay later appointments. I said a silent prayer that Brandon would not be one of those emergencies.
Finally the dental assistant poked her head out the office door with a gentle smile, "You can come in now..." Brandon sat with disheveled hair and a drunken-eyes-at-half-mast expression, a bloody piece of gauze protruding from his mouth. Definitely not the usual hyper, "boy of a million questions" version, but overall, fine. Whew...
Yes, I have been with Brandon for the two worst days of his life. We stared deep into each other's eyes as his welled with fright and confusion. At those places, at those moments, I must confess, there was nowhere I would have rather have been.
Psycho Tooth Fairy
Hanging on the wall in my office is a drawing by Brandon. It was done several years ago; it is a portrait of a tooth fairy. In my opinion, it is a somewhat odd, yet charming tooth fairy. I can even say that it is a little scary. Its brown eyes are wide open, perhaps from too much caffeine to keep it up those late nights of harvesting discarded teeth. Its right leg, a peg leg from a run in with someone's nasty pet dog no doubt. Upon its head sits a golden yellow crown, jagged points reaching towards the heavens.
Little did Brandon know that this psycho tooth fairy would be visiting him tomorrow.
Although I need to be the strong one, I must admit that I have feelings of trepidation. Brandon goes in for oral surgery in the morning and there is nothing I can really do to calm his fears. It seems like only yesterday that he had the perfect Colgate smile, and now there is a dentist who is prepared to cut into his gums to remove a rogue tooth buried beneath.
Unfortunately as time passed his teeth migrated greatly and soon, I am sad to say, Brandon had a smile that would make a Jack-O-Lantern proud. Like I said Brandon has a mystery tooth that is embedded under his gums that is preventing his last adult tooth from dropping. This has wreaked havoc among his pearly whites.
I must admit, I'm nervous. No one wants to see their child subjected to anesthesia or cut open. Even if it is only minor oral surgery. I don't want Brandon to be scared. I want him to look into my eyes and only see confidence, that it's no big deal and everything will be all right. But can I do it without my concern for his well-being betraying me?
Dear Lord let tomorrow morning go quickly for my pal...
The Belly Pinch
The belly pinch usually comes first, and it is often employed under the guise of a handshake delivered by a rival, a teammate, or a coach. The purpose is to measure body fat. The preferred technique is to smile broadly -
hey there, you old so-and-so - grasp their target's hand and tug them forward in a teasing manner, twisting their bodies slightly to grant access to their unprotected midsection, on the side, just above the waistline.
-
Lance Armstrong's War Daniel Coyle
This is how it started, my little nervous tick. I pinched myself to feel my fat fold. That was the impetus for
Project Discovery. The fact that I was pinching way too much fat and too little skin. To this day, I find myself unconsciously pinching my midsection, reminding my subconscious of what fat remains.
The fortunate thing is that I do enjoy some of the blander "nutritious" foods that this lifestyle has needed. Tofu...mmm-mmm...love the tofu. Nothing like a cold block of soybean to make one's lunch complete! No seriously, I do try to eat a block of tofu once or twice a week. And I really do enjoy it! I think deep down I feel like I'm doing something good for my body.
Luckily like most men, I have been able to shed pounds somewhat easily. Sorry ladies, but that's the cold hard truth. Men have an easier time with weight loss. However, like all people, I seem to be having a more difficult time with the fat loss. Specifically, lowering my fat percentage. I wonder if it is because I have lost weight, therefore there is less of me, so the fat percentage remains status quo? Hmmm...
C'mon 15% body fat...
Did anyone check out the Tour of California this past Sunday? I caught it on Versus (the channel formely known as OLN.) It was great to see Phil, Paul and Bob calling the race again. It seems like an eternity since Le Tour.
Levi Leipheimer won the prologue for a second year running, but the stunning news was a total unknown Jason Donald, Team Slipstream, posted the second fastest time. He bested the premier professionals in the world!!! This was probably the zenith in his cycling career (sorry, I calls 'em like I seez 'em!) But what a stage to produce an amazing result. And I love that P,P&B are calling the Tour of California as the kick off to the racing season! Very cool!
Coming This Sunday
Wow! The starters for the Tour of California were just announced. For a stage race that is celebrating only it's second anniversary, it is an amazing line up! Although he was retired for last year's event, I do believe this is the Lance-Effect on the landscape of American bicycle racing.
The Tour of California starts this Sunday, February 18th in San Francisco with a prologue. A prologue is a short stage (This one is only 1.9 miles long, whereas stage 13, a normal individual time trial, of the Tour de France is about 33 miles long) where the racers go individually trying to get the best time. Although rarely are there large time gains established, it can be very important from a psychological standpoint. It may allow a racer to display his dominance early on.
Here are some of the highlighted riders:
- Thor Hushovd (Credit Agricole): Won two stages at 2006 TdF
- Jens Voigt (CSC): Won stage 13 at TdF
- Michael Rasmussen (Rabobank): King of Mountain winner 2006 TdF
- Ivan Basso (Discovery): Winner 2006 Giro d'Italia
- Paolo Bettini (Quick Step): 2006 World Champion
- Fabian Cancellara (CSC): 2006 World Time Trial Champion
- Dave Zabriskie (CSC): 2006 World Time Trial Runner-Up
- George Hincapie (Discovery): 2006 U.S. Champion
- Levi Leipheimer (Discovery): 2006 ToC King of Mountain winner
- Bobby Julich (CSC): 2006 ToC third overall
The only bummer is that Team Discovery is currently looking for a sponsor for 2008 and beyond. The new leadership at the Discovery Channel has decided to end its sponsorship of the team after 2007. That always leads to distractions as there is a small part of each rider's attention focused on whether he will be racing for the team next year.
But enough of that...let's go racing!!! The Tour of California will be presented on a delay at OLN, uh, the Versus channel...
Love Is Like Oxygen
What I appreciate is, when it comes to sentimentality and Valentines, Andrea generally does not possess a need for such celebration. Thank goodness...I don't know if I could handle the pressure.
Happy Valentines!
Obsession
Joe knows it, although he will not speak openly about it. Brian called it out years ago. Andrea is coming to understand it. I have an obsessive personality.
It's not the type of obsessive personality that will succumb to the blackness of substance abuse, but one that clings to impulses tightly. Rarely does my brain flirt with a passing interest, it jumps in fully. Whatever the situation may be, if it really touches my interest, I am there obsessively. Drawing? Tons of art classes in college. Writing music? Egads the hours spent over a four-track! This blog? You're probably wishing you didn't know me right about now!
Thus it is with my weight control and
Project Discovery.
There are actually several reasons why I am concerned, er, passionate, uh, obsessive about my weight. The first is I have borderline high blood pressure. A gift from my mother's side of the family. Secondly, I feel better about myself both emotionally and physically. Dragging that extra eight pounds around on a bike is tough!!! (Just as an aside note, I will not do anything damaging to myself for weight loss. That whole binge/purge thing...nope not for me. Even a vurp kind of grosses me out...)
The last, and probably the silliest of the reasons, is that gaining weight is the one thing I can have tangible control of when advancing in my days. Yeah, I know there are hair dyes, cosmetic surgeries, the Hair Club For Men, etc., however weight control seems the most natural. Something that I would not need to pay someone else to change, or stop the change, in me. If I don't gain weight, it means I am not getting older.
Graying?...I think I would look kind of cool in silver!
Hey Captain Picard looked handsome with a bald skull!
Anyhow, I think I may grow the Mother of All Comb-Overs.
Okay, maybe the big bags wouldn't be so good.
But I could live with a few wrinkles...
What I'm trying to say is that other stuff I cannot control each day by myself. But weight/fat loss? That's definitely within my grasp. Look out here comes that skinny, wrinkled guy with the graying comb-over zooming by on his bicycle!!!
Rasputin Is A Fine Name!
CONGRATULATIONS
BRIAN AND AGUSIA!!!
On the birth of their baby boy, who as of noon on Saturday had no name...typical Brian...
Here are my wishes for their new addition:
- For goodness sakes I hope he gets his mother's looks...
- I hope he is as smart as Brian...
- Or that he is a lefty with a devastating curve ball...
- Or possesses Tiger's golf game...
- And above all, nothing would make me happier than if he turns out to be the "angel" that little Brian was as a child...
Wow...all my best friends have kids now. Egads we're heading into adulthood after all these decades...
A Warm Cup O' Coffee
I have never been one to readily seek out cycling clubs. Yes, I love being on a bike. Yes, mountain biking with my best friends, Joe and Shawn, is awesome. Yet those times with Joe and Shawn seem to come with less and less frequency. Okay, I admit it, it probably, nah, it
is my fault why they don't happen very often anymore. But I always seem to struggle with maintaining any semblance of time management when it comes to my bicycling schedule.
I guess that is one of the deeper reasons I love cycling so much. I can enjoy my two-wheeled adventures without relying on anyone. Just my trusty metal steed and I. I never need to arrange a play-date with anyone to get out the door and moving.
Unfortunately there is a dark side to my solo efforts. When I do not have a cycling "date", there always seem to be a little devil sitting on my shoulder whispering into my ear, "Neil...the Lycra is too tight, wouldn't you like to just sit in front of the television, Hoovering in potato chips?"
Yeah, yeah, once I get on my bike it's marvelous, but sweet gorilla of Manila (thank you Hermes Conrad of Futurama) that little devil talks with a sweet tongue!
Today it's raining in the South Bay. It's kind of cold. I love it! This is awesome cycling weather! No really, I love cycling in the extremes. Rain, snow, heat, it's all good! Yet for all my bicycling desires, there is Satan, planted on my shoulder trying to seduce me to the dark side.
"Come to the dark side Neil..."
"No Beelzebub, I need to ride! I love riding in the rain!"
"But, Neil, I have a warm cup o' coffee just for you...and you could catch cold. No one loves you like Satan...no one will notice that extra pound of fat...Neil, I am your father..."
Wait...wrong moment. Getting my Star Wars geek-hood mixed up with my bicycling fantasy.
Anyhow, here it is. 8 a.m. on Saturday, February 10, 2007. I have a warm cup of coffee in my hand. Staring out the window. I will go cycling, I will...
See?...I have cycled in the snow!
And it is Las Vegas of all places!!!
15 Percent
Throughout my life, weight never seemed to be much of an issue for me. Unfortunately my 40's hit and all that seemed to change. That sliver of cake, or strip of bacon seemed to hang tightly onto my waistline. Suddenly, I needed to watch what I ate and ensured that I exercised appropriately. I love my dad, but quite often I found him staring back at me through the mirror. Not really the sight I wanted to see first thing out of the shower.
Project Discovery taught me a couple of things. The first is that I really do need to monitor what enters my body. I am a big believer in the
Zone. Or my interpretation of it. I realized that my lifestyle had to change. I no longer could pop anything I desired into my mouth. It all had consequences.
Now, you may exclaim, "Duh, Neil!!! Of course everything has calories you numb-skull!" But as I stated previously, prior to 40, I never really had to think about it. I refused to say I am dieting, as that infers a temporary change. I had to change my lifestyle...permanently. The biggest change is I dumped my sugary mistress Coca-Cola. Occasionally we do have a fling, but usually it's with her less damaging cousin Zero.
Yeah...we're through, I mean it...
My belief in the
Zone is that number one, everything in moderation. That is, don't eat like an American. Do we
really need to Supersize everything we eat?! Have you ever really considered the portions you are being served by virtually every restaurant? Then think about the size of the portion in your belly...yikes!!!
Zone belief number two is that we, I, need exercise on a regular basis. I know this, I've always known this. I just needed to stop making the excuses and find time to get out on my bike more often. Luckily, exercise for me is not a four-letter word!
The second lesson of
Project Discovery was that keeping weight off is harder than losing it. Now that I have achieved my desired weight, I am obsessed with it. I cradle it like a newborn in my arms. I don't want to lose it. My weight can swing by up to five pounds in a day, yet I hold on to 145 pounds greedily. I get upset when the scale tips in at 145.4 pounds.
Thus this leads up to phase two of
Project Discovery. The average American male, which I am member of that Neanderthalic club, has a body fat percentage of 25%. (Now there are other studies that claim the average American male is at 22%. I'm going with 25% because it makes me feel better.) With 25% body fat, if I was an average American male and weighed 200 pounds, I would have 50 pounds of fat! Egads!!!
The good news is that I am under the average American male's fat percentage. The bad news is that a
fit American male would be at 15% body fat. Hmmm, I have a ways to go. I tend to hover in the 19-20% range of fat. Yes, really. For goodness sakes, our president claims to have less body fat than I! (I don't want to get into a discussion of politics, but I did read that GW has about 15% body fat and by the looks of it, that is pretty accurate.)
I am now at 145 pounds...I would like to keep myself around this weight. Now it's time to shed some fat. I want, no I
need to get to 15% body fat. I can do it. I know it. Something tells me that this is not going to be as easy as losing the weight, but I'm up for the fight! 15% here I come!
145 Baby!!!
Lately, as the months and years have added to my history, I have been spending more time on my road bike. I began as a mountain biker and still consider my mountain bike my first love. However, as time seems to be a commodity as rare as any precious gemstone, my road bike has seen my butt much more than my trusty mountain bike. These days, the hiss of my road tires are more common rather than the crunching sounds as I would roll over miles of lonely trails.
Yet one of the things I love about cycling, both road and mountain, is that I get to experience the landscape much more intimately than from my usual vantage point of my car. And although, walking or hiking really gives one an up-close view of the world, it is somewhat limiting, as one can only walk so far. So it's the bike for me!
As I now live in Silicon Valley, I am amazed at all the familiar names only known to me on my 17-inch flat screen. As I am not employed by the tech industry, it is curious to actually see their buildings as I go whizzing by on my bike. If you're part of the high-tech industry, you probably would shrug your shoulders and wonder what the big fuss is about. But I find it quite astounding that the I live in one of the centers of the tech world.
Yahoo-oo-oo!!!
And it's not just computers down here!
I was only able to get a photo of Lockheed-Martin Way, as I was hesitant about sneaking by the guard gate in my Lycra. Egads, the thought of being thrown in jail while wearing my skin tight cycling shorts. By the way, my training route takes me along Java Road...yes,
that Java.
So why do I cycle? Yes it can be painful and sometimes it can get discouraging when I am miles away from home and the only thing getting me back are my tired legs. But there is something magical about my bikes. Enlivening. Nothing frees me like my bicycles. And...
...Cycling also adds (or should I say subtracts?) to this!
Bears Lose, I Win
I just returned from my parents' house. I watched Super Bowl XLI with my dad. We're both Bear fans and watched with utter disdain da Bears' ineffective offense. Yeah, it was ugly.
Five turnovers. Man that was an ugly game. And before we crown Peyton Manning uber-guy, the Colts at times didn't look that much better. I must add, didn't Manning throw his offensive line under the bus last year, blaming a playoff loss on them? There, I feel better.
But I did win at this Super Bowl. I was able to watch it with my 88-year-old father. Although we did not enjoy the game (Although the first quarter gave us false hope), we did enjoy each other's company. It seems that these moments are fewer and fewer. I am lucky to have such caring parents, even when I was a pain in the neck teenager. They never gave up on me.
Yeah, da Bears lost, but in the end I won...
Gutter, Nothing But Gutter
I work in the western division of my company. Within the West, we are broken down into smaller regions. I happen to work in region 2. What I love about working in region 2 is that my boss, Jack, happens to be one of my most influential mentors. Definitely my most influential mentor when it comes to my profession.
Jack preaches that we need to make our "measurables". We need to work hard, take smart risks, but above all make our measurables, the top one is being profitable. Cool...very clear direction...love it...
What I also really appreciate about Jack is that along with working hard, he believes in playing hard. If we're going to work like crazy people, we need to blow off steam, like crazy people.
Thus, after a great meeting for all the region 2 managers, we went bowling.
Now mind you, this meant about 100 fashion-driven executives, renting feet fungus, throwing 12 pound orbs, chugging down beers. Little did I know, out of all the executives, yours truly would be one of the worst!
As usual, my managers were looking for leadership from me. Unfortunately, when it came to bowling, they were to receive none, zilch, nada. What a time to bowl my worst game in my entire life! The only saving grace was that my gift wrap manager, who is about 5 feet tall and would stand at the line and just toss the ball down the lane, had a lower score than me. Thank goodness for Tess saving the tiniest shred of manhood that I had so sadly destroyed...
Stand to the center, the ball went to the left gutter. Stand to the far right, the ball went to the left gutter. Approach from the left and launch at the right, the ball went to the left gutter. I would like to say my bum right elbow caused all this, but in reality, I suck at bowling.
My grand total?...
64...I'll go back to cycling...
I have known Brandon for virtually all of his life. I was introduced to his sister, Soraya and him when they were very young, about three and one and a half years respectively. They did not trust me for the first ten minutes, from that time on, the three of us have been best buds.
The second time happened yesterday. Surgery, albeit it was only oral surgery, is scary. And although it was an outpatient procedure, there were the people in masks, the I.V., the cold, sterile environment, yep, it was the real thing. Now imagine you are only eight-years-old, with the knowledge of an eight-year-old. Terrifying.
Finally the dental assistant poked her head out the office door with a gentle smile, "You can come in now..." Brandon sat with disheveled hair and a drunken-eyes-at-half-mast expression, a bloody piece of gauze protruding from his mouth. Definitely not the usual hyper, "boy of a million questions" version, but overall, fine. Whew...
