LoneCactus' Soap Box Moments

Happy Birthday Soraya!!!

posted by LoneCactus @ 6:41 AM Comments: 0

Candygram...

At Andrea's request, I bring you Saturday Night Live's Land Shark.



Sadly, both Gilda Radner and John Belushi are dead.

posted by LoneCactus @ 6:30 AM Comments: 0

1997 Steel Relic

There was a moment several years ago, Joe, Shawn and I were climbing the Railroad Trail on Mount Tamalpais. We were making good time, when from behind an older gentleman zoomed by us, his feet and pedals a blur as he left us in his dusty wake.

Three things I noticed as gramps taught us a lesson in climbing.

1. Dang he pedaled fast! Later in life Lance Armstrong would utilize a similar pedal cadence. Stress the cardiovascular system before stressing one's leg muscles!

2. Man...he's old!

3. Great googly-moogly! Look at that antique of a bike he's riding!

Jump ahead almost a decade and here I am. Now I'm the old guy on the 1997 steel relic. Sure I would love to have one of those carbon fiber rockets, but there is an evil pleasure when I pass those cyclists on their high-tech sleds. They try not to notice me as I slide by them, my legs pressing the pedals quickly. My how all this riding as of lately has built up much of my lost strength in my legs. Love it.


There are faster bikes. Bikes that click and whir with amazing precision as their masters guide them along the pavement. Bikes that climb like angelic mountain goats. But there is something special about my 1997 LeMond Alpe D'Huez with its skinny steel tubes and wheels spider-webbed with stainless spokes, a true relic. But it was my first, and only, road bike in my adult life. Sure I had a French-made Jeunet in my youth, but the LeMond is the one I have put miles upon mile on.

The LeMond and I went on a 70-plus mile adventure around Lake Tahoe in an oxygen-depleted death march. My orange steed guided me through the Red Rock canyons of Las Vegas as tumble weeds blew by me on the way back home. It is also the poor bike that I left on my roof rack as I tried to park my car in my garage.

Sure, one day I'll move on to a gleaming new bike, but I won't ever forget about my orange bike with the cow-colored handlebars.

posted by LoneCactus @ 10:01 PM Comments: 0

Grey Days

Okay, I almost feel guilty...

While almost the entire population of Northern California is wishing for great weather during the weekends, I am not so secretly doing my rain dance. Is that bad? Am I being selfish when I pray for grey weather to engulf Saturday and Sunday?

My store is a coastal store. During the Spring season the citizens of this beach community head indoors when the weather is inclement. You know, like indoors into the Mall? However, when they are given the gift of a glorious weekend in March...SURF'S UP!!!

Yeah! The weather has been foggy this weekend. Do I feel guilty? Maybe...maybe not...

posted by LoneCactus @ 8:07 AM Comments: 0

1963-Broken-Down POS

Oh dear Lord...just got back from a two-day meeting in Huntington Beach. Good meeting for my professional intellect, but egads, bad for Project Discovery.

posted by LoneCactus @ 8:15 AM Comments: 0

Scary Fast

This is the jersey. The cycling jersey that helped me commit to Project Discovery. I would see those heavy guys laboring on their bicycles and I smiled at them encouraging the Clydesdales to keep going. That was awesome that they were trying to do something about their weight. I would also notice how their jerseys would be straining to keep their bulging bellies from bursting forth.

This was the jersey that became snug against my belly. I looked in the mirror in panic realizing that I was becoming my worst nightmare. One of those guys I encouraged to lose weight.

Yes, the Rocket Parts bicycling jersey did it for me.

So needless to say, I have become somewhat obsessed with my weight and getting back on my bikes with some regularity. But with that obsession, comes some poor decision making.

Take this past weekend.

I go out for another butt-kicking two-hour bike ride. I can generally tell within a mile if my legs will be good. This past Saturday was going to be difficult at best. I struggled up the climbs and the final eight miles seemed to be an eternity, but somehow I made it home. My legs and butt were screaming!

Sunday comes, do I take an easy day? Hell no!!! I do that same butt-kicking two-hour ride! Dumb, dumb, dumb!!! My legs and butt were yelling at me to stop the insanity, but there I was crawling up Pierce Road in Saratoga. Within three miles from home, my legs bonked. It was a curious phenomena, my legs were totally out of gas, yet my cardiovascular system could of gone on for hours longer.

Let the mental games begin. Do I stop and cry on the side of the road? Do I admit defeat and shift to the small chainring and creep home? Images of Joe methodically chugging up mountain passes appear. Hell no!!! With the lactic acid flooding into my thighs I soldier on...somehow. Slowly my house appears around the corner. I fall off my bike, home.

It's good to be obsessed.

posted by LoneCactus @ 5:07 AM Comments: 0

The Musical Früt

Many people have asked me how my food consumption has changed since I began Project Discovery. The first thing I comment is that I have reverted back to when I was single and food was a source of fuel, rather than an object of desire. My dinners used to consist of a block of tofu, or a can of tuna fish.

Another thing that I have changed greatly is the way I snack. Chips and other naughty "foods" are readily available to me at my job. Prior to my lifestyle reversion, a bag of chips would find its way to my desk on a daily basis.

I must credit my friend Shawn for inspiration, as now fruits and vegetables are plentiful in my lunch (Oh yeah, I have cut out buying lunch, as I can fully control my fuel if I make my own lunch!) A bag of carrots, an apple or two, some oranges...yum! No more Doritos for me!...instead a luscious blood orange.

Unintended consequences...whenever one does something, there are usually unintended consequences. Little did I realize that with the increase of fruit in my diet, came an undesired side effect, especially with apples.

Did you know that left over fructose from that apple you ate could ferment in your large intestines creating a mini-Krakatoa? Neither did I! Actually apples are near the top of the list for being unkind to one's intestines. Who knew?! I didn't realize that I had the Miller Brewing Company in my belly!

So needless to say, galas, fujis, granny smith, et.al. are limited in their inclusion of Project Discovery. That is if I still want anyone standing within a 20 foot radius of me. An apple a day, keeps the doctor away, but two or more may keep everyone away!

posted by LoneCactus @ 7:46 AM Comments: 0

The OK Corral

I dread Soraya growing older...

I know, I know, there is no stopping the aging process (From a selfish perspective, great googly-moogly, do I realize we ALL grow older!) But I also realize that with the addition of each year of life, come complexities that I hope Soraya will be able to deal with.

There is a girl at Soraya's school who seems to have it out for Soraya. As Soraya tends to be one of the smaller girls in her grade, I assume that this girl sees it as okay to pick on the tiny girl. Tearing through Soraya's lunch removing items, kicking her when no one is looking; all grade-school stuff, but as one grows, so does the torture.

Now, I don't want to encourage Soraya to actively seek confrontation, however, I really don't want her to hide every time this girl shows her face! There is a zero tolerance for violence code in the Cupertino School District, I get it. But, how does that help a child heal when they are the recipient of a black eye? Sure the "student" who committed the act is suspended, but only after attacking the victim.

It's difficult watching from the sidelines. Do I call the school and ask about this bully? Will a call to the school make it worse for Soraya? Do I let Soraya learn to stick up for herself? (Although, I do admit, I have coached her that she needs to not run away and hide in fear.) What is best for Soraya?

I hope Soraya will be okay. Maybe I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. The sideline sucks.

Geez, why can't she just stay a little girl...

posted by LoneCactus @ 7:31 AM Comments: 0

It's Good To Be West Coast

These are the days that the citizens of the East Coast and the Midwest hate us Californians. Spring days when the sun shines warmly down on the West Coast kissing the green hills and blue Pacific with all her glory.

These are days that I cherish.

This past weekend was glorious! Unfortunately, Saturday was spent primarily sneezing my cloggy head off. I mean seriously, at least twenty sneezes within the first hour of consciousness. Mid-70's weather...gotta love it. However with Clariton-D coursing through my veins, Sunday was a different story.

Yes!!! A long, long road ride with climbing. Just what Project Discovery needed, a two-hour butt kicker. As I pedaled up Big Basin Way through Saratoga I realized just how impoverished I am! Geez...take a right turn on Pierce Road to see all the Saratoga mansions! Yeah, yeah, this is where the Paul Masson Winery would live, so maybe there are truly wealthy people out and about.

Anyhow, it was wonderful weather as I was able to wear just a short sleeve jersey and bike shorts. For those of you who are unaware, no, cyclists do not wear any underwear under their bike shorts...naked as the day we were born. Needless to say, modesty is never part of wearing bike shorts.

Sadly, my legs are shapeless blobs currently. Hopefully my legs will continue to get stronger and my calves slowly start to resemble Popeye's. I know I need to put in many more miles. But on the good news front, I'm starting to work on a killer farmer's tan! And yes!...the glove dots on the back of my hands are on their way to permanence.

Ahhh yes, it's good to live in California...

posted by LoneCactus @ 7:46 AM Comments: 0

Spring's Mucus Festival

God played a really nasty trick on me...

He instilled a love for the outdoors in me, yet along with that he gave me a righteous case of hay fever. Every March I can count on my eyes beginning to water, my sinuses clogging and a case of the round the clock sneezes...but I love the outdoors.

Spring is beautiful when you are cycling, mountain biking in particular. The California hills are green with life, dotted with flowers slowly blooming. The bees are again buzzing searching for pollen to make their gooey goodness. Now contrary to common belief, it is generally not the pollen that sticks to the legs of our six-legged-honey friends that wreaks havoc in our allergic nostrils. Those pollen particals are usually too large to stay airborne...it's their tinier breathren that I vow to ignore each Spring.

Each Spring, Claritin-D becomes my best friend. I live for this pharmaceutical. Yeah, I know it dries me out and it can play tricks with my blood pressure, but sneezing nonstop is not a wonderful alternative. Add along with that the lovely blood red eyes from my fingers scratching them from sun up to sun down.

It's Claritin-D for me...

Cycling is such a lovely event in Spring. As I pedal through the hills or the streets, snot-scuds are launched from my rhino-silos with increasing frequency with each additional mile. When I am finished the sneeze festival begins as I reach for a bottle of water to douse my face, cleaning myself of Mother Nature's dirty work.

I love cycling, I love Spring...it's Claritin-D for me...

posted by LoneCactus @ 6:06 PM Comments: 0

ToC & Der Jan

So, I am a little conflicted this past week, when it came to cycling. The Tour of California came to a close and it was another awesome race. Two years in a row, California showed off that it could hold truly a world class cycling stage race.

Levi Leipheimer, Discovery Channel, came up strong and delivered the goods when it counted. Last year he choked when it came to the crucial time trial and was never able to recover. This year he took to the road last in both the initial prologue and stage five. Stage five was truly phenomenal as the second place rider, Jens Voigt, placed the quickest time trial, only to have the last rider out, Leipheimer, take Voigt by 18 seconds.


Unfortunately, Leipheimer was not a great representative of the Discovery team or America when it came to champagne time. For some reason he struggled with opening the champagne and at the end someone from the race organization needed to help him. Argh...

Why I am conflicted after Leipheimer's victory, is that one of my favorite racers, Jan Ullrich, is retiring, most likely because of the pressure from Operation Puerto. Operation Puerto is an on-going Spanish investigation regarding doping. Spanish authorities arrested a Dr. Eufemiano Fuentes and foung a plethora of doping items. Along with bags of plasma, thousands of doses of anabolic steroids, the most supposedly damning item was a list that contained the names of various cyclists. Jan Ullrich was one that was named on this list.

What is sad about Operation Puerto is that no one, not one cyclist, has been formally charged with any wrong doing. This sting operation first came to light in May of 2006. The authorities decided to release the names of various riders prior to establishing their guilt or innocence. So far, the only item that possibly connects the accused riders to Dr. Fuentes is the log with the riders' names on it.

Why am I a little sad that Jan Ullrich, der Jan, is leaving the pro-circuit? Although a very talented cyclist, Ullrich always seemed to be human. He had human frailties. Ullrich was a flawed man. He liked his excesses and like normal human beings, struggled with his weight. In the off season, he partied. Ullrich liked clubbing. He liked living.

posted by LoneCactus @ 9:43 PM Comments: 0